Prequel : Meeting Mairin

Hidan's wails of dismay were echoing through the base so loudly that Kakuzu feared the entire organisation would be discovered. Hidan wasn't howling because he'd just been stitched back together by the man he hated most in the world. Hidan wasn't wailing because he hadn't been able to do a ritual. In fact he had, but something that was meant to happen, didn't. The guy didn't die, no matter how much he stabbed. But it wasn't even the fact that the curse had worn off and he'd started hurting himself instead of his victim that he was bawling.

It was because he'd lost his precious rosary and scythe.

"I am not worthy!" Hidan was wailing, lying on the floor in the kitchen, a few knives sticking out of his person, and a jar of mustard and a tub of coffee next to him. His hair was in disarray and he was dressed only in his frowny print boxers.

"There there, Hidan-kun…" Sasori tried to soothe him, but keeping a safe ten feet or so away. "I'm sure Pein and Konan will find them on the way back."

Hidan kept wailing, rolling over to pick of the serving spoon he was using to take spoonfuls of mustard, dip it in the coffee and eat it like that. Hidan's version of comfort food.

"I am incomplete!" he bawled through a mouthful of kitchen nightmare.

"Gross, un." Deidara grimaced as Hidan had another spoonful of mustard and coffee, crying as he munched on the coffee chunks. Normally, if it was all that normal in the first place, he put it on toast but he'd stabbed himself with all the available knives so he couldn't this time.

"Poor Hidan-san." Tobi said to Kisame. "It's like he's lost an arm or something."

"Or both of them." Kisame replied, a tear in his eye. "It's painful to see a man this miserable."

Deidara glowered at them, having received no such sympathy when he really did lose his arms.

"They're almost back!" Zetsu said poking out the wall. "I see them!"

"And they have someone with them."

Hidan looked up instantly.

"Dih hey bwinn ma syph and wozawy bag?"

"Say again." Itachi said frowning in puzzlement.

Hidan took the spoon out his mouth.

"Did they bring my scythe and rosary back?"

Zetsu looked back through the wall.

"Plus more. A live one."

"A live one?" Deidara repeated. "A prisoner, un?"

"Doesn't look like it."

"She's carrying your stuff, Hidan."

"Some heathen wench is touching my sacred implements?!" Hidan exclaimed in disgust. "Jashin will smite her through me!" He kicked aside the comfort gunk and launched himself towards the door, ripping it open before he turned the handle and broke the lock and the hinges at once. Face to face with him was Pein, not looking too impressed.

"Hidan. The door."

Hidan looked at the broken door and let go. It hit the floor.

"I didn't do it."

"Moving on." Konan said pushing to the front, dragging someone behind her. "Hidan, we have some of your belongings."

She pulled the person forward and shuffled her towards Hidan. There was Mairin, confronted by a coffee, blood and mustard stained Hidan, and she was holding his scythe and his rosary, that she had pieced togther bead by bead.

"Hidan, this is Mairin." Pein said toneless as if he wanted to get it done and over with. "Mairin, this is Hidan. You're both Jashinists so you should get on fine."

"Jashinist?!" Everyone exclaimed, mostly in horror.

"Time to run away…" Tobi said quietly.

"You're a what?" Hidan said slowly, his eyebrows raised. He looked her up and down. Waist length dark gold hair, purpley blue eyes, a little colour in her cheeks, some killer hips, wasp waist, nice ass, reasonable chest (which he was only looking at of course to examine the blood stained Jashinist medallion she had hanging down the front of it.) Not a bad looking girl at all.

Mairin blushed and lifted the scythe and rosary up to him.

"I'm sorry Shimon attacked you but I picked up everything you had to leave behind so when I came here to become your apprentice like Pein said we would be on good terms and you wouldn't mind having me around!!!"

All in one breath.

"Apprentice?" Hidan blinked, still slightly hypnotised.

Itachi butted in to Hidan's chain of thought.

"Wait, who's Shimon?"

"My brother…" the Jashinist girl said slowly, feeling all eyes fall on her. "He was the one that chopped up Hidan and scattered him around."

"The b*stard, I'll kill 'im!" Hidan yelled. "Where is he? I didn't kill him last time, but this time I'm make sure of it!"

"No, Shimon can't die!"

"Another Jashinist?" Kisame gulped.

"Not… really…" Mairin said. "When they tried to convert him… there was a mistake. You see, Shimon's body can die, but Shimon can't. His soul it… lingers. He lost his first body when the last war broke out, and possessed another one. Shimon shoved his soul out."

"So the little b*tch who ran off with my f*cking head was your half-Jashinist-brother?!"

"Well, while you were running around looking for your head, I captured the culprit." Kakuzu said with a smirk behind his mask. Hidan was giving him the 'chatter chatter chatter' hand gesture from his safe point behind Pein.

"And where is he now?" Konan asked.

Kakuzu fumbled in his pocket for a moment and produced a jar. Inside the jar was a misty type substance, but every so often fingers pressed against the walls, and a face streaked past them. It looked like a ghost.

"Shimon!" Mairin cried. "That's him! That's my brother!"

"A jar monster?" Itachi said in disbelief.

"He's lingering." Mairin explained. "Hello Shimon. Are you ok?" she asked the jar.

The face materialised, squashed in the jar. Somehow, it managed she move it's features side to side, and shake it's head.

"Have you every seen anything like this, Hidan?" Pein asked.

"Only in a magazine I don't care to mention…"

"Hidan! Look up!"

Hidan snapped out of it.

"Um, no! No no no. Never. Ever. That's f*cked up even by my standards."

"Are you paying any attention?" Konan sighed.

"Actually, I was thinking," Hidan began.

"That must have been painful." Kakuzu snorted.

Hidan gave him the finger and continued.

"Jashinists, when there were more of us, or supposed to be more of us since most people selected died anyway, they were almost never female."

"Mairin is an Oracle, Hidan." Pein said firmly. "If anything, she's favoured more than you."

Hidan's face darkened.

"So what you're saying is…" Deidara tried to translate. "Every time Hidan does something good, Jashin gives him a cookie, getting me so far?"

Pein sighed and nodded. "Continue."

"But with Mairin, it's different. Jashin basically gave Mairin the plate of cookies and said 'impress me', un?"

"Basically, yes."

"So Mairin will be taking the room between Hidan and Kakuzu's." Konan said. "Sasori, Kakuzu, you two are going to sort out a body for… Shimon… And Deidara, you show Mairin where her room is, and the bathroom of course. Make sure nothing happens while I'm out. I'm going to have to find some clothes for you. I don't think any of mine will be any good."

"What about Deidara." Hidan smirked.

Deidara gave him a very black look.

"Or not." Hidan said, still smirking. "He's protective over his frills, I see."

"I'm gonna hurt you, un."

"Bite me, blondie."

"Deidara, Mairin, go!" Pein yelled pointing towards the door.